The Pacific Northwest Magazine in the Seattle Times wrote a really great piece about it, called Our Social Dis-ease, which reads:
... the dichotomy most fundamental to our collective civic character is this: Polite but distant. Have a nice day. Somewhere else.Having spent my entire post-college existence in Seattle, I had little to compare it to. "Well, of course it's harder to meet people. I'm not in college anymore!" But after months away I'm beginning to feel that outside of Seattle, folks really are more welcoming.
Case in point: I went to a friend's cookout in Oakland for July 4th. (Thanks, D&M!) By the time I got home, I had text messages from 2 people I had met there -- just friendly follow-ups for drinks or whatnot. There's nothing truly remarkable about that, except that it wouldn't have happened to me in Seattle. There would have been polite conversation, followed by vague promises to "hang out sometime," and then ... nothing.
And still, I can't with certainty say that the Seattle Freeze is real. My lifestyle changed at the same time my location did. It's not the same city, but I'm also not exactly same person. I'm new in town; I'm trying harder; I'm following my dream, and I'm speaking with passion about it. That could make all the difference.
So, is it Seattle or is it me?
2 comments:
I'm a former Seattle resident who also moved away and had to meet people all over again. It definitely isn't just you - I found the people in central Florida to be a lot more approachable. And I guess I know have the chance to see about the greater Washington/Baltimore metro area (sigh). So I would say there is definitely something to the "Seattle Freeze".
Funny you should ask - my wife and I were both raised in Seattle/Eastside (me Redmond before it was the 'home of microsoft', and was just another suburb). We didn't notice it nearly as much then.
We are planning to (again) be ex-Seattle residents, hopefully for good this time. Done.
We ended up moving to the Bay Area in the late 90's and lived there for 6 years, then moved back to Seattle to be able to afford a house (house prices were seriously insane in 2003-2004 in BA, we'd just had a baby, and family was back in Seattle). So, we bought our first house and moved north (still here, but not for too much longer).
Saddest thing - we love our house, did alot of our own work on it, etc. However.
Seattle Freeze - it is very real, in many subtle ways. If you stand out of the norm (and I don't mean just wearing ironic horn-rimmed glasses), you are shunned. If you are friendly and open about wanting to get together with friends, it has to be planned in advance, invitations sent, etc. Casual, "hey, just dropped by to see how you were" is non-existent. I blame the Lutheran background, but it might just be the weather.
Shoot, even friends we've known for 20 years are distant (not in location) compared to friends we still keep in contact with in BA. We kept asking ourselves after we got back, "geez, what happened?". Maybe it was us. But maybe not.
My wife notices it more than I do, mostly because she's able to be out in public more than I am.
It's funny - we know folks who've moved up to Seattle area from LA area, and they are very happy with being left alone. That's just it, here there is the 'individualism', that unfortunately all too easily becomes shallow platitudes and reclusive behavior. I honestly blame the weather, and partially blame the difficulty in getting around in the area. It takes me about as long to get to my folks place (15 miles as the crow flies), than it does for a drive to Santa Cruz from San Jose on a weekend with no traffic.
It's hard to put your finger on it, but I must say that of the folks I know from the BA who've moved to Seattle for purely social reasons moved back within 2 years because they had such a hard time meeting friends.
Hope this helps!
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